Thursday, August 23, 2012

Wtf, brain?

A lady was in my store shopping yesterday.  She couldn’t have been any taller than I, if even that tall.  She was very fit.  Dressed in running shorts and tank top, I couldn’t help but notice how perfectly sculpted her legs and arms were.  I’m a girl.  We tend to check out and compare ourselves to other girls.  Or at least I do.  I found myself looking at her almost longingly, feeling jealous of her build and wishing I could look the same.  The thought crossed my mind, “She’s so lucky she looks like that!”

Almost immediately I realized how utterly stupid that thought was!  She’s not lucky!  She worked her ass off for that body!  And if I want one like that, I need to realize that I have to do the same thing!  I found myself saying, “I could do that, I just don’t have the willpower to be that dedicated, though”.  WTF, brain?  Who looks at a challenge and immediately comes up with reasons why it can’t be done?  I’m not always the most optimistic and positive person, but it’s pretty rare that I’m quick to come up with reasons why something can’t be accomplished. 

So why is it that my confidence in my ability to lose weight, eat healthy, and ultimately, get that body I’ve always wanted is so low and unstable?  I have a few theories I’m considering at the moment.

  1. We are programmed to think that way.  Woman are constantly judging themselves and one another.  She’s skinnier than I am, she’s prettier, altogether she seems to have a much better life.  But why?  How is she so different than me?  And why do I feel the need to compare myself to her?  Dumb.  But we do it anyway.
  2. I work in a freaking grocery store and even though we have a decent selection of healthy options, we also have an overwhelming assortment of just the opposite.  In my face.  Every.  Single. Day.  My store has THREE AISLES of frozen food options.  THREE.  Why is it necessary to have eight doors of Marie Callendar’s artery clogging entrees?  That’s no exaggeration.  Frozen meat and veggies, even a few of the simple meal starters, I get it.  But all of this prepackaged-complete-meal-with-five-times-your-RDI-of-sodium-throw-me-in-the-microwave-for-five-minutes-on high “meals”?  Why is that necessary?  And how could they possibly be any good for you?  That being said, they are so damn convenient.  And cheap!  And right there and ready to go in minutes.  Perfect for the standard retail management lunch break of approximately 12 minutes.  
  3. I’m lazy.  I know that getting in shape isn’t just something you do for awhile.  It’s a lifestyle change.  And until I fully commit to that (and that involves my family making the commitment, too), I often wonder, what’s the point?  But then why is it so hard to commit to being healthy?

So here’s my thoughts after mulling over all of this for the past few hours, coming across some seriously awesome blogs via Pinterest, and chatting back and forth with the other half:  It’s time for a lifestyle change.  I need to feel better, physically, mentally, and so on.  I need to make a commitment to change several things.  My eating/fitness habits, my drinking habits, my spending habits, and... my job.  So many things come down to these simple, controllable aspects of my life.  While the job thing isn’t entirely in my control, it is ultimately my decision what I do with my life, and my responsibility to take the steps necessary to ensure it isn’t making me miserable.  

What's the next step?  Stay tuned.  

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